Christmas Blessings

We are blessed. We are so blessed. Tuesday my phone did not hold a charge after Trip & I left the doctor because we had so many friends & family call to ask about the scan results. I was on the phone and texting the majority of the night – so much so my phone kept dying. Thank you, my friends, for remembering and checking on the results. We are so blessed to have so many people care for us and think of Trip’s wellbeing.

The MRI showed nothing new or spreading, which is great news! We are so thankful for that. To get a stable report on the brain and orbital area gives me such relief. There are areas on his femur, arm and (possibly) jaw that appear to be active lesions and will need to be watched. He has had lesions on all areas in the past, so we know that these areas will show up on the skeletal survey for some time. When Trip was first diagnosed he had a huge bump on his skull that eventually turned into a huge hole in his skull. We have watched that lesion for years on the x-ray and now it is completely gone - a slow process but at least it is gone now. The thing with x-rays is they can show the damage to the bone(s) but it doesn’t necessarily mean there is active disease in those areas. A PET scan would be the only way to know for sure where the active disease is in his body, but since he has already been exposed to so much radiation we don’t think one is necessary at this time.

We are truly relieved and so thankful. While Colson & I would love to hear there are no lesions anywhere and nothing is showing up on any of the scans, we will take a “nothing new or spreading” report. We have so much to be thankful for and are so thrilled Trip can stay in school and enjoy his active social life. He will stay on the at-home chemo treatment for the foreseeable future, but we will gladly handle that. He finished a round this weekend and other than being tired and spitting methotrexate pills all over the bed at midnight, it went smoothly.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas with loved ones. Let’s hug our little ones and big ones tightly and always show them how much they are loved.

Faith > Fear

Scanxiety is at an all-time high. Maybe it’s a combination of impending icy weather, added responsibilities ungraciously required of us, not being ready for Christmas, work, Colson’s business, and scans. Who knows… I’m anxious, and I’m blaming it all on the scans.

Let my faith be bigger than my fear.

We check in tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. Trip will have a skeletal survey then an MRI. (Cross fingers that we have no issues getting there with the expected bad weather and that Colson and I can both be there when Trip goes under.) The plan is to go over the results on Tuesday and figure out next steps.

Let my faith be bigger than my fear.

I constantly rely on the histio support group but have had to force myself off of the webpage. It is a great place to draw strength, but sometimes it gets to be more than I can process. There are more sad stories than good ones since we are all looking for comfort in each other and pleading for someone to make it all ok. Recently, I’ve read about too many cases of histio returning, and my heart breaks for those families while at the same time fear for my own family takes over.

Let my faith be bigger than my fear.

I have to stop every so often to remind myself to stay in the moment, to appreciate every single minute I get with my loved ones, to have an attitude of gratitude and to remind myself that I have handled many roller coaster rides over the last few years (y’all know I hate the literal and figurative roller coaster!). It is what it is. No matter how much worrying I do, it won’t change the outcome.

Let my faith be bigger than my fear.

I realize how whiny I sound, so I'm going to ask for a pass today. :) Prayers and calming thoughts are appreciated now and always. I’m working on myself but there are days I struggle, so I rely on those of you who sincerely support us with your prayers, words and actions to get me through.

Let my faith be bigger than my fear.